The Behavioural issue!

Many parents aren't aware, but their child could be suffering from a behavioral disorder. Children with this disability behave in different and socially unacceptable ways and parents need to be well informed to deal with the problem effectively.

You! takes a look...

"I don't know what's wrong with my son." 

Why what happened? 

"He is misbehaving all the time and for the past few days he has been throwing stuff, spitting and being mean. He whines about everything. He screams at me and my husband and hits us as well. I've tried everything I can think of but I see no hope." 

Was he like this since childhood? 

"Yes he was but this situation is getting worse and it's driving me and my husband crazy." 

Well that's a serious issue and should not be ignored. Have you tried going to a psychiatrist/psychologist. He might be suffering from a behavioural disorder? 

"Really, I didn't know that his behaviour might actually be a disorder." 

How often have we encountered parents discussing the different behavioural patterns of their children without realising that they might be in an emotional mess. A number of children suffer from learning disabilities and physical difficulties; these are the reasons due to which issues like their education arise. 

However, these disabilities are not the only things that the parents need to be focused on. There are many cases where children who misbehave for no particular reason could also be experiencing a behavioural disorder. 

A young person is said to have a behaviour disorder when he or she demonstrates actions that are noticeably different from that expected in the school or community in general. This means that the child is not doing what the adults want him to do at a particular time and is delinquent. As time passes, it becomes quite difficult for mothers to effectively train these children in social skills and self-efficacy.

It's unfortunate but research has estimated that one in five children have emotional problems that demand immediate treatment. One should not think that a behavioural disorder is nothing to worry about because these disorders are as painful as any other ailment and are a source of stress for the children, parents, teachers and even the community. 

How to diagnose the disorder:

Like learning disabilities, behaviour disorders are hard to diagnose. There are no physical symptoms or discrepancies in the body that are observable or measurable. 

The disruptive child's activities cause humiliation for mothers both inside and outside the home. At home the kid reacts aggressively and sadistically with his/her kith and kin. Wired and restless, it is difficult for the child to sit quietly at home. They act without forethoughts and have no regret for their misbehaviours. In the classroom, their attitude is threatening and authoritative. A child with such a disorder interrupts the learning processes of his/her classmates rather than concentrating on the teacher's lecture, shows interest in the destruction of the classroom atmosphere. The offences grow more severe over time, and in practical life an angry and hyper child is likely to be a constant danger for the tranquillity of the whole society. 

According to a survey behaviour disorders are identified by observing behaviour patterns in the child over a period of time. If a child displays some of the following actions he may therefore be labelled to have a behaviour disorder: 

* Aggression to people and animals. Some people may say that the child is wicked to others and cruel to animals

* Destruction of property- defacing school desks, graffiti, vandalism, etc. 

* Little empathy and concern for others. Shows no feelings when another is in pain, nor remorse for unkind deeds 

* Takes no responsibility. Also lies, cheats and steals easily 

* Disregards rules and regulations. May be openly defiant

* Has a short temper

* Quick to argue with others

* Seems to be very angry and resentful

* Displays vindictive or spiteful behaviour

The most common disruptive behaviour disorders include oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), conduct disorder (CD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). These three behavioural disorders share some common symptoms, so diagnosis can be difficult and time consuming. A child or adolescent may have two or even all three disorders at the same time. Other exacerbating factors include emotional problems, mood disorders, family difficulties and substance abuse.

Dealing with the problem

Instead of blaming the child parents need to recognise the problem. The disorder is not the child's fault and can be cured with a few effective measures. Such aliments are best dealt with by behaviour therapy and psychotherapy. And it is important to modify the behaviour to be clear about which disorder it may be. However, make sure that the modified behaviour is rational. For example, expecting a three year old to sit quietly through dinner may not be reasonable, or demanding that a six year old does extra home work after a long day of school and extra curricular activities may be stretching the child's concentration and attention too far. Since some behaviour disorders stem from traumatic life experiences or brain injury, therapy should include helping the child to resolve and heal emotionally from the experience. 

Also, a child with behavioural disorders needs extra attention from the parents. A mother should act as a social reformer and not follow the misconception that solving conduct problems is a teacher's responsibility alone. However, regular meetings with teachers do help as mothers find out hidden causes of their children's misconducts. Always remember that punishing and scolding children in front of siblings and friends develops inflexibility and loose temperaments. So, the mothers need to exhibit tolerance and kindness to achieve their goals. 

What mothers should do

Since a hyper child is more energetic as compared to the other children of his age, a mother should know the proper channels to utilise this extra energy. Encouraging the child to get involved in physical activities such as playing football, basketball and marshal arts are excellent ways that can be used to cool off the disruptive behaviour. As the child gets more involved in physical activities, he will learn to squander his extra energy positively. For young children painting, colouring, and playing with mud and colour papers are also useful activities. 

Overcoming shyness and social phobias of the child is not an insurmountable task. Contrary to the hyper child, he remains tongue tied at home and prefers to sit back in the classroom. He lacks self confidence and may have anxiety disorders. According to a recent research, the brain of a shy student takes in more sensory information to process. Over stimulated, he has a high tendency of emotional distress. Therefore, he hurts easily and often thinks that his mother is neglecting him. 

The group activity oriented programmes are useful to overcome his/her hesitations because these programmes are constructed to bring on more interactions with other children of his age. Participating in school plays, school trips, family gatherings and picnics help him to further overcome social phobias. 

Since timid kids and teenagers tend to be submissive, mothers should urge teachers to assign them responsibilities that involves moving around in the classroom. Collection of homework copies, distribution of test papers and maintaining discipline in the absence of the teacher.

Negligence caused by behavioural problems of a child can cause lifelong sorrow and regret. A child starts showing misconducts at home so it is up to the parents to identify any behaviour that is out of the ordinary. In the long run this will just help them in understanding their child on a deeper level. To say the least, by following behavioural management techniques, mothers can construct good personality traits in their children.