It is the oldies, especially men who call me 'baji' (older sister), 'bari baji' (even older sister) or even 'aunty'. These are the type of people that ruin a perfectly good day. I mean, are they blind?
"My God you look sooo young; I would never have known you had kids!" Music to a mother whose children are nearing their teens. Although to give my ego a boost, I will say that this was not the first time I had heard this compliment, but to tell you the truth I never get tired of it. Honestly who would?
Before I go into detail I will relate two other similar episodes which may not be of much interest to you, but they make me feel better and also lay a foundation of what I will relate later.
One day I took my children for a short visit to the office. I was taking them back when our friendly receptionist asked, "Whose kids?"
I said mine. She smiled and said, "Yes, but are they your niece and nephew?"
Not comprehending, I repeated they were mine. She seemed pretty shocked and said she didn't ever think that I was even married, let alone have children. She thought that when I said they were mine, I meant that as a loving aunt. I was pleasantly surprised; could I still look that young?
The second episode occurred when I, along with my kids and a younger relative were checking in at the airport. My kids left me and ran to our relative. I called out to them to come back and not to pester their 'aunt'. The security women asked, "So you are travelling with your elder sister and her kids." I laughed and told her that the 'elder' sister was younger than me and the kids were mine. Of course I never told my cousin what the security personnel had said, as what was a compliment for me would have been painful for her.
But seriously, I don't look as young as people think I am... I mean I can see my own reflection. I do keep young people's company, mainly because I can relate to them and because I enjoy talking to the younger people and find out what they are thinking about life in general.
However, it is the oldies, especially men who call me 'baji' (older sister), 'bari baji' (even older sister) or even 'aunty'. These are the type of people that ruin a perfectly good day. I mean, are they blind? I am not shy of my age, neither do I pretend to be younger than I am, but when a toothless, bald man whose son is older than me calls me 'baji', I am entitled to take affront.
I don't mind 'aunty' anymore, though in the past I have mentioned that I was taken aback the first time I was called that. It had brought the image of my great aunt to mind, and I, in my immaturity, ran to the mirror to check if I had wrinkles or white hair. The other thing that I have mentioned in articles in the past is being called 'bhabi' by older men. At the time it never occurred to me that 'bhabi' was considered to be a mark of respect, and not necessarily implying that I was as old as my grand old aunt.
And as usual I have an anecdote for everything. I was shopping for something at the Sunday market. I asked a portly gentleman a question and remarked the price was too high. He said, "Aunty, we can't match the prices of your days, when everything was cheap and life was simple." I was shocked and almost fell over. What the heck did he mean by that? It's enough that my children believe I belonged to the age of dinosaurs and the likes, especially when they see me drool over ancient stuff (antiques). I can forgive them for they have yet to acquire the taste for the finer things in life and that will only come with time.
This old man had the gall to call me 'aunty'. He must be at least twenty years older than me. Why didn't he just give me a quick political analysis and blamed the high prices on the government, or the president and prime minister like my fruit vendor does and let it be.
But no he had to go ahead and call me 'aunty'. He took my shocked silence as an invitation to continue with his spiel. He added that he hadn't seen the world as I had, and therefore didn't have the experience that I had. Adding that he had been born five years after Pakistan was created. Now if you add that up, this old man was 60, not a young lad himself huh. That meant he thought I was in my seventies or even more. I didn't know how to respond, I could only escape with what little dignity I had left. So I decided to keep the stuff back that I was holding in my hand, even though I wanted to crack his old skull with it. But I walked away with him calling me back. He must have thought that I could not hear him because with old age, one gets hard of hearing. Grrrr!