The UnForeseen Dangers......

In this day and age, parents need to be more updated and informed in order to save their children from the dangers lurking in the use of technology. You! takes a look.

 

When my child told me about a certain ‘uncle’ trying to become friends on a social networking website, I immediately reacted by checking out this ‘uncle’ and then blocking him from accessing my child’s page. I also made it clear to my child that no stranger, an adult or anyone who is too interested in personal and family details, should be added. I also limited the access to pictures and other data. The rules of protecting one’s child from harm in the real world should be more defined in the cyber world, where one is mainly unaware of the dangers lurking between the sites. The sad part is that many in Pakistan have no concept of cyber crimes and the dangers attached with them especially for young, vulnerable children.

Parenting has always been a tough job, but now it has become even tougher due to technological developments. Unfortunately for parents, their children are now exposed to a lot of information and data, means of easy communication and the net. The threat here is that the parents may never find out what kind of information their child is being subjected to. In today’s nuclear family system, both parents are working therefore giving less quality time to their children. The absence of a responsible adult could prove to be detrimental for child’s mental development. With the mother away from the house for at least nine to ten hours a day, the child will tune into the TV, surf the net or if older, connect with friends through their cell phones. While all these gadgets are necessary for the changing times, these can often be quite dangerous for the child.

The advent of the internet and mobiles has opened many vistas and has changed the world as we knew it. However, despite its various advantages, the internet and use of cell phones can become extremely risky if they are in the wrong hands, especially of children. Unsupervised access to these gadgets and means of communication could lead to many problems, most of which we are unaware of. The world is full of people who commit crimes, while for some the internet has provided them with wider access to unknowing victims. For example social websites which children have access to could lead them to not only being exposed to data that they shouldn’t, but they could connect with people, who could be possible paedophiles.

A paedophile is an adult who is sexually attracted to children and is suffering from paedophilia, which is a psychiatric disorder in adults and adolescents. For these people the net is an excellent place to find vulnerable naive prey. These people scan profiles and usually find their victim. They manage to manipulate the child’s vulnerability and control them. The problem of cyber or internet paedophiles may not be that common in Pakistan yet, but there have been cases in other countries where children have been victims of this kind of abuse. 

According to a news report published in The Guardian in June 2006, 21-year-old Lee Costi, a media student, hailing from the English county of Surrey was arrested and sentenced to nine years for enticing two girls, aged 13 and 14 and having sex with them.

Costi, though, was eventually undone when he tried to entice his third victim; another 14-year-old. According to the report, the third schoolgirl was ‘flattered by Costi’s attention and wanted to impress her friends with her online relationship’. Fortunately for her, she also told her mother who got the police involved.

In another incident in the UK, three men were caught after their chat room conversation was upended. These men had been planning the murder of two sisters, aged 13 and 14, they had ‘met’ on the net. Interestingly, these three men had never met each other in person but were best buddies on the net.

On the other hand, mobile phones are equally dangerous with young children and teens. There should be a limit on the use of these phones, unless of course it is imperative in certain cases. Like the internet, paedophiles can contact children by sending enticing or interesting messages and MMS. The child may be lured into thinking that sending their details and/or pictures to their ‘internet’ or ‘cell phone’ buddies is no big deal. However, these innocent messages, details and pictures could be fodder for the paedophiles and other criminals.

What can parents do?

First of all, parents need to take time out of their busy schedules and pay more attention to their children. If they can’t, they should at least talk to their children more, probably over dinner. Trust and a strong relationship needs to be built so that the child always turns to the parent in times of need, not to a complete stranger. Also, children should not be allowed unsupervised internet and phone access. Parents should talk about the dangers that lurk on the internet and telecommunication, without causing fear in the hearts of their child. Rules should be made in which the child is required to know how much information should be given out to anyone, even to people they know.

Sending one’s pictures to anyone or allowing access to people to view photos on social websites should be a strict ‘no’. Parents should teach their children that no one has the right to ask for their photos without their permission as pictures could be used for internet porn. The child should be told not to invite/add anyone they don’t know, and inform their parents of anyone trying too hard to ‘become friends’.

If parents are unable to do so, they should try monitoring the sites the child visits. If the child is found visiting adult sites or interacting with strangers and giving out information, parents need to intervene. Also, the child should be told not to ‘meet’ friends they only know from the internet or inviting them home. Parents should get involved in their children’s internet activities, in this way the child will feel more secure and happy with their parents’ undivided attention, and will probably not be lured in by sympathetic strangers, who have all the time in the world to ‘spend’ with them!